Winner of the California Marriage and Family Education Foundation Award (2012)

The Victim, The Bully and The Bystander

Strategies for Preventing and Confronting Bullying – Effectively, Permanently

The victim/bully/bystander dynamic is a triangle destructive to everyone involved.
We will explore interactive tools that professionals and teachers can always rely on; to show school- age children how decipher, understand and demonstrate their individual strengths in a myriad of challenging and anxiety provoking situations, to ultimately empower children to move beyond intimidation, fear and anxiety, empowering all who participate.


Participants will:

  •  Engage in a sociometric exploration of the victim/bully/bystander dynamic (based on the Karpman Triangle)
  •  Explore personal memories in each of the three positions of the triangle
  •  The empty chair technique and vignettes will be used to permit participants to confront the bully, the bystander or the victim in their own personal past
  •  Assertive training will be presented in the workshop as an effective way to help school age children deal with bullying as they begin to understand their own connection to the passive, assertive and aggressive roles
  •  Finally, we will discuss ways these techniques can be effectively used in the context of school and in therapy

I am here for you.


I see the best in you.

Ilene Wolf, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 30 years

Offices conveniently located in
San Francisco Bay Area and Marin

“Insightful, talented and quick…”

“Ilene Wolf is insightful, talented and quick. I attended a class she runs exclusively for therapists, called “Getting to The Heart of the Matter.” I’ve never seen anyone so quickly identify the source of a problem and instantly understand the path to healing. This workshop allows you to bring to life your inner drama and rewrite your life’s “script,” with the support of the group. You’ll bring to life relationships, recruit allies and heal age-old problems while retrieving the most loving and healthy parts of yourself. This is absolutely one of the most rewarding and effective therapy classes I have ever attended – and it’s fun. I highly recommend it!”
– Alan Barsky, CHT, MH

“Down to earth and clear…”

“Ilene is probably the most natural genuine therapist I have ever met. She is down to earth and clear. She would not miss what cannot be missed -that obvious truth that can easily be missed by so many others. Her clarity reflects the truth within the person, who needs help right away.”
– MK, chiropractor and nutritionist

“A safe supportive environment where I felt comfortable…”

“… the leaders quickly facilitated a safe supportive collegial environment where I felt comfortable sharing my deepest concerns. “
– Joanne Davis, MFT