marriage therapy in San Francisco bay area

Marriage Counseling

Helping You Build A Relationship that Works

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” – Albert Einstein

Evidenced Based Therapies for Healthy Marriages

You can break free from defensive patterns that keep you locked in destructive behavior, that no longer serve you. I can help you create a positive self-dialog to raise your self esteem and cultivate more loving relationships.

I am here for you; you can dare to love more – in spite of how difficult and confounding life can sometimes be.

Relationships challenge us to reveal who we uniquely are; and despite past hurt, I can show you essential practical tools to unconditionally love and accept yourself, and the people you love, but sometimes find the most difficult challenges in your life. While we know we want to get needs met in relationship, there are things we know that don’t work.

Every time we need to be right we are not exactly practicing vulnerability. The High Cost of Blame and the need To Be Right at all costs are at the root of all relationship problems.

5 Secrets of Essential Communication for a Successful Marriage

Learn 5 Secrets of Essential Communication that they don’t teach you in school! Highly Effective Therapy reveals pragmatic techniques to assure that you have significantly more loving and meaningful relationships with the people you care deeply about… that truly make a difference in your life – every day.

available in the
San Francisco Bay Area

Four Survival Strategies that can interfere with cultivating a loving marriage

(partially based on the work of John Gottman, M.D)

  • Defensiveness
  • Making conclusions and the need to be right
  • Criticism, anger & resentment
  • Stonewalling or giving someone “the silent treatment”

Starting with the first session, you can change defensive patterns and beliefs, and start feeling better now. Discover what else is possible.

The Empathy Tool Kit restores trust in yourself and your partner

Trust issues, stemming from early childhood experiences, early blueprints and impressions can and do carry over in our day to day experiences. Discover ways to trust yourself regardless of what other people do and don’t do, so you can more fully accept and receive love, while inviting people to be a more loving partner, to listen and be more empathetic. Some of the tools you learn to use in the process:

      • The Universal Laws of Love
      • Skillfully Expressing the Essential Ingredients in Love and the Power behind Vulnerability
      • Finding More Confidence when standing up to everyday conflict in relationships both at work and at home
      • The Art of Showing and Receiving Empathy (based on Nonviolent Communication)
      • Why Requests and Needs are repeatedly not met, and what you can do about it
      • Requests as camouflaged demands
      • Learn Evidenced Based Research-Proven tools that help create positive changes in your relationships
Your Vulnerability – when combined with kindness – is an essential ingredient that truly connects us. Highly Effective Tool Based Therapy (partially based on the work of David Burns, MD and Advanced Applications of CBT Therapy) will show you how to have a RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS.

I am here for you.


I see the best in you.

Ilene Wolf, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 30 years

Offices conveniently located in
the San Francisco Bay Area

now available in the
San Francisco Bay Area

“A Rockstar of a therapist…”

“Ilene is a Rockstar of a therapist. Both my wife and I have seen her and we agree we have seen more progress on issues in the few meetings we had with her than with all the meetings we had with several other therapists. She quickly helps you see deeper layers of your issues and teaches you new tools to have better results. We have a three hour drive to see her and she is really worth the hassle of the drive.”
– Steve L.

“Empowers, guides and supports her clients…”

“Ilene Wolf, MFT, RDT/BCT embodies all the qualities of a great therapist: compassion, excellent communication skills, and a unique ability to empower, guide and support her clients in discovering more peace, ease and freedom in their lives.”
– KO, somatic counselor, businessman

“Made a critical difference in my life…”

“I have tried several therapists. Ilene’s sessions made a critical difference in my life. Ilene cares deeply and helped me build trust back into my relationships.
Ilene has helped my family beyond the regular measures. I recommend Ilene Wolf, MFT, RDT, I know she can help where most others fail.”
– R.A.

“Deep, kind, smart and fun…”

… Ilene is a great therapist to turn to when life becomes challenging, complicated or when you need someone to help you navigate life’s inevitable changes or demands that you grow as a person. If you’re struggling in your relationships; or depression and anxiety are making life way too difficult, Ilene can be a great ally in your journey to a better life.
– Dave T.

Call me. Most people find results right away.

Ilene Wolf, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists,  MFT

415 420 3619

You will begin to feel hopeful, confident, motivated,
and more able to greet the day.

For patients who want quick, deep and lasting change and help to address  anxiety, depression, dating, work and relationship problems, habits and addictions.
For Individuals, couples and families who want to do short term work for three to ten hours a day.
You may live out of town or be motivated to address the problem with the immediacy and the effectiveness that this format brings. Most people see results right away.


You will be more and more confident in social situations.