Couples Therapy Relationship Counseling

Using the Empathy Tool Kit to Build Relationships that Work

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” – Albert Einstein

Highly Effective Practical Tools to Save Your Relationship or When Dating Someone You Care About

For over thirty years, I have successfully worked with hundreds of couples, families and individuals who feel like giving up just like you, who go on to discover and celebrate their unique strengths.

Relationship Therapy is an Interactive Process

In each session, I provide you with tools to overcome long-standing loneliness, hopelessness, stress, and anxiety.

If you have decided to go outside your relationship, or are even contemplating the possibility of straying, or feel stuck (either struggling with constant boredom, or longing for sex-worth-having), I am a relationship expert with over 30 years experience working as a marriage and dating specialist, and I can help you.

Did you know most people choose their partner based on their own childhood experiences in an effort to heal every aspect of their being?

“If the doors of perception were cleansed then everything would appear as it is- infinite.” -William Blake

Five Essential Secrets – Evidenced Based Therapies for Couples

You can break free from defensive patterns that keep you locked in destructive behavior, that no longer serve you. I can help you create a positive self-dialog to raise your self esteem and cultivate more loving relationships.

I am here for you; you can dare to love more – in spite of how difficult and confounding life can sometimes be.

Relationships challenge us to reveal who we uniquely are; and despite past hurt, I can show you essential practical tools to unconditionally love and accept yourself, and the people you love, but sometimes find the most difficult challenges in your life. While we know we want to get needs met in relationship, there are things we know that don’t work.

Every time we need to be right we are not exactly practicing vulnerability.
The High Cost of Blame and the need To Be Right at all costs are at the root of all relationship problems.

5 Secrets of Essential Communication

Learn 5 Secrets of Essential Communication that they don’t teach you in school! Highly Effective Therapy reveals pragmatic techniques to assure that you have significantly more loving and meaningful relationships with the people you care deeply about… that truly make a difference in your life – every day.

Four Survival Strategies that can interfere with cultivating a loving relationship

(partially based on the work of John Gottman, M.D)

• defensiveness
• making conclusions and the need to be right
• criticism, anger & resentment
• stonewalling or giving someone “the silent treatment”
• contempt

Choice.  Starting with the first session, you can change defensive patterns and beliefs, and start feeling better now. Discover what else is possible.

Have You Locked Yourself Into an Unloving Relationship?

The Empathy Tool Kit

Trust issues, stemming from early childhood experiences, early blueprints and impressions can and do carry over in our day to day experiences. Discover ways to trust yourself regardless of what other people do and don’t do, so you can more fully accept and receive love, while inviting people to be a more loving partner, to listen and be more empathetic. Some of the tools you learn to use in the process:

• • • The Universal Laws of Love
    • Skillfully Expressing the Essential Ingredients in Love and the Power behind Vulnerability
    • Finding More Confidence when standing up to everyday conflict in relationships both at work and at home
    • The Art of Showing and Receiving Empathy (based on Nonviolent Communication)
    • Why Requests and Needs are repeatedly not met, and what you can do about it
    • Requests as camouflaged demands
    • Learn Evidenced Based Research-Proven tools that help create positive changes in your relationships

Your Vulnerability – when combined with kindness – is an essential ingredient that truly connects us. Highly Effective Tool Based Therapy (partially based on the work of David Burns, MD and Advanced Applications of CBT Therapy) will show you how to have a RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS.

Call me. Most people find results right away.

Ilene Wolf, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists,  MFT

415 420 3619

You will begin to feel hopeful, confident, motivated,
and more able to greet the day.

INTENSIVE TREATMENT
For patients who want quick, deep and lasting change and help to address  anxiety, depression, dating, work and relationship problems, habits and addictions.
For Individuals, couples and families who want to do short term work for three to ten hours a day.
You may live out of town or be motivated to address the problem with the immediacy and the effectiveness that this format brings. Most people see results right away.

You will be more and more confident in social situations.